Goin On Up To The Fish Tank in the Sky

Well my favorite fish died this morning before work and I’m all bummed.

She was a medium sized white angel fish with blush cheeks, and was the first fish I bought when Sandy got me an aquarium as a gift about 4 years ago.
She had quite the little personality.

Highlights of her life included:

- Greeting me with furious tale wags and head bobbing every time I came home - (probably because she equated my presence with food).

- Laying eggs and then promptly eating them all every 2 weeks for about 6 months during the 3rd year of her life. Seemed like a lot of wasted effort.

- Gouging out her male counterparts eyes rendering him blind in a lovers spat. He’s still alive and kicking, but blind as a bat.

- Generally making her queen biatch status known to all others in the tank - especially new comers.

- How quickly she learned that “the net” meant it was time out (lol) whenever she was harassing the other fish in the tank.

- How she made out like she hadn’t eaten in months every time I fed her. She was all about the gluttony I tells ya.

Sigh.

She hadn’t been doing well for the last couple of weeks, just being really lethargic and having no interest in food at all.
Last night she began laying on her tail/side in the corner of the tank, breathing really rapidly. I was freaking out all night cuz I figured she was suffering and/or in pain. Then before bed, I got all sad and realized how much I’d miss her and her little attitude.

This morning, she was barely moving before my shower, and stopped breathing altogether by the time I had to leave for work.
So I took her out of the tank, wrapped her in some paper towel, put her in a Ziploc bag, and brought her to work with me.
She’s sitting on my desk right now.

Hahahahahaha. As if.

No, I tossed her in the trash bin on my way out, and that was that.

Sigh.

I will miss my little buddy.

In other news, I have a sushi lunch date today with some co-workers that I am totally salivating over. How ironical.
We’re gonna hork like its 4 BC in T-minus 2.5 hours and I am totally excited. I haven’t had sushi in eons.

As for feeling guilty about eating fish on the day my fish passed away, I am trying not to.
I’m sure my fish friend would want me to be happy - if that means getting all Genghis Kahn over a sushi boat and tempura, so be it.

Float on my friend, float on.

In Love Yet Again

Le sigh...
Sweet christ.

The new Modest Mouse album - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank - was released in stores today.

I promptly ran myself to the local record store after work, picked it up, and booted 'er home to take my first glorious listen. I was so excited to rip it open and pop it into the stereo that my poor bladder almost burst cuz I didn't want to stop and take care of biz, but I digress.

Anyways, home safe and sound, currently on track 5, and am absolutley in love with them all over again.

I didn't think they could top Good News for People Who Love Bad News, or the Moon and Antarctica for that matter, but I was wrong.
This new CD kicks so effen hard that I'm literally salivating.

Oh Modest Mouse, how I love thee.

Pick it up, download it to your iPod, whatevs.
Your life will be so much better for it, promise.

Pump Up The Jam

What exactly is it that makes male co-workers in the office think that all women are masters of the photocopier?
For serious.
I’ve been noticing this disturbing trend for the last couple of weeks, and for the life of me, I can’t figure it out.
And I am not trying to be sexist or typecast a gender here – but I swear; 99% of the time it’s the guys.

Me or any other female staff member can be casually walking by, cutting through the copy room, on our way to a meeting, talking to a client, juggling razor sharp shinto knives, putting out a fire, taming rabid dogs, etc.
Whatever the situation is, it’s always "Ummmm - ‘scuse me, I have a paper jam in B4."
Ummm…that’s nice? I have indigestion.

Do I have a sign on my back that says Xerox technician?
Didn’t think so.

I’ll help anyone who genuinely needs it, but like come ON people. The LCD on the copiers in our office show step by step instructions on where the jam is and how to get it out. It’s pretty much idiot proof. Or so I thought.

These guys are technicians and engineers. If they can’t clear a paper jam from B4, A1, or any other orifice in the machine, then I really begin to wonder if we should all be worried about the safety of our gas plants, high rise buildings, and roadways.
They do design them after all.

Meh.
Maybe they’re just not interested in having to lower themselves to such meager tasks that us female peons are traditionally ‘supposed’ to be there to take care of.
News flash though – not all of the girls in the office are admin in this day and age. A lot of us are right up there in the same ranks as the alpha males, and as such, deserve a little common courtesy and respect.

Hence, when I am obviously walking by with my hands full of business on my way to see someone, don’t grunt and go "guuuhhh…there’s A PAPER JAM IN b4!!!"
Sheesh.
One might be a bit more responsive and willing to help if they got a please or thank you.

It just irritates me to no end that these people expect that you have nothing better to do than assist them with every complaint and whim.
Shit. When I have a paper jam or error, I read the INSTRUCTIONS blinking up in electric blue font right in front of me on the machine and follow the steps to fix the problem.
Seems to work pretty well.

Anyways. Back to my observation.

I have consistently noticed that when another man happens to walk by in the midst of the paper jam cussing and confusion, the cry for help is non existent. That’s when I’ve noticed the helpless male subject actually start reading the LCD prompts on the copier and/or opening the machine to see where the problem lies.
There’s grumbling, but no cry for help.

Once a female walks by though, totally different story.
It’s all "Oooooooohhh Nooooooo!! Whatever will I DO??? This machine hates me, it’s evil, it’s eaten my report!! THERE’S A PAPER JAAAAM!!!"

And for the most part, the woman will stop what they’re doing and help until it’s solved.

Correction.
I mean will take control by reading the instructions on the machine and then systematically resolving the situation, step by step.
For the most part, the male steps back, or in some cases, will walk away altogether.

My question is why?

What is it about the female presence in a situation such as this that seems to drive this mommy help me behavior?
You’d think the opposite would be the case – the macho man who can fix anything arh, arh, arrrh behavior.

But it just isn’t so in the office environment.
Weird.

I am by no means saying ALL guys are like this, but the majority of the ones I work with certainly are. Just seems odd.

And it got my gears turning, hence this post.

Discuss.