Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle-K

So I think something’s up with my mail carrier.
For the last 6+ weeks, I have been missing mail on a regular basis, and that’s just WEIRD, cuz I’ve been at the same address for almost 2 years with no prior problem.

I’m starting to get concerned because I got verification from Revenue Canada yesterday that a refund and tax assessment were sent out by mail on March 8th, and I have not seen it.
I don’t really care about the check - you’d have to be a retard to try and cash someone else’s check in this day and age; especially a government issued one.
What concerns me more is that my personal information is all over that shit. I’m talking SIN, date of birth, address, income information - basically everything anyone would need to steal my identity. That’s scary.

I spoke with Revenue Canada yesterday, and they said that they now have to send me out a shwack of forms, and that I have to get someone to witness me filling in the info, sign it, and then I send it back in to them. Then they do their paperwork, and send out a new check.
So I asked the lady why don’t I just send in a direct deposit form and void check so that it doesn’t go missing again, and she said “once a paper check, always a paper check.”
Damn it. I know this is true from my own accounting background but eff. I don’t want my info falling into the wrong hands again.
Here’s hoping this package actually gets delivered..

The other things that have been going missing include credit card statements, utility and telephone bills.
Like they just don’t even show up at all for the month. And I check the return to sender mail pile all the time - my stuff is never in there.

So add all 3 of those things together, and if someone wanted to, they could literally become me.
That shit’s not funny.
I already had an issue with this in 2005 when someone stole my wallet. Luckily I am on a fraudulent activity alert for any account openings, credit card applications, etc for the next 5 years. Which is a bit of a relief, but I hate the feeling that someone has my personal information. It seriously worries me.

ANYWAYS.

I called the post office yesterday, which for general info/complaints, is a 1-800 number. So I call, and was polite enough to the wench on the other end. I told her that only some of my mail is getting through - sporadically at that, and I have verification of mail out dates from Enmax, Telus, Mastercard, etc.
It’s not showing up for some reason.
Right away she cuts me off and says “If you getting any mail, that means your service is in order. It’s not like we pick and choose people to steal their hydro bills from.”

PSSSSSSSHHHT.
Kay, I didn’t even remotely accuse the postal service of that, and what’s with yer snot rag tone. Chriiiist.

I told her I had a concern and wanted to get to the bottom of it. Whether it’s a new mail carrier unfamiliar with the route, whether my stuff is going to the wrong building, or whether there’s a pile of my mail sittng in the abyss at the post office, I want it looked into.
She takes my phone number and gives me a reference number, says a rep from my area will contact me and place a delivery monitor on my mail. Well good.
If the guy ever calls that is.

It’s totally plausible that my mail is being delivered to a building one street over with a similar address. My guess, as I said, is a new mail carrier.

But there have been a couple things that have kind of seemed weird in the last month.

I opened my mailbox one day to find my capital one statement. On the front of the envelope, where it says “What’s In Your Wallet?” (the logo), there was hand writing. It said “Fuck All”. (On a side note, I did think it was kinda funny).

Now it could have been the mail carrier, who in my scenario is totally disgruntled and hordes ppls shit in his/her basement and has 45 cats, or it could be a disgruntled worker at Capital One.
Whichever, it’s unnerving.
Then the next month, I don’t receive a statement at all. Strange. This only started happening 6 weeks ago. Before that, no problems.

I also got a mysterious call from some guy in Ontario last night saying he was calling from my bank to see if I was happy with my recent credit card acquisition through them. This seems normal enough, but I deal with the ATB Financial - an Alberta based bank. Like wtf.
He was totally stumbling on his words and said he just needed to “verify my account number”. I said no way man - you should have that info on your screen if you are in fact calling from the bank.
I called the number back and it was “not in service”.

Like fuck.

Now I’m all paranoid about where my stuff is and who’s doing what to it.

Probably nothing bad is going on, but I can’t help but feel like there is.
It just seems so odd.

Hurts So Good

Well my weekend was pretty effen good. Pretty effen good indeed.

On Friday, I didn't have much in the way of weekend plans sorted out, when lo and behold, Miss Malina calls and says she's in town for the night.
WOOT!
Haven't seen her since 2004 - earliest.

We planned to meet up for some lolz and reminisce over our younger years, not really sure if we were going out or staying in.

We eventually decided to stay in, order sushi take-out, and drink some wine (2 bottles were gone by the time it was all said and done).

It was such a special occasion, that I even put my grandma suit on for Mizzo's pleasure - level of disgust aside at the fact that I actually own this outfit, she laughed right along with me.

Holy eff. Did we laugh. And laugh. And laugh.
My stomach still hurts from laughing so much on Friday/Saturday.

Les evidence:

This last one makes her look sorta see through becasue I couldn't get the damn camera to focus properly. Or maybe all the wine we consumed was making ME unable to focus. Who knows.

At one point, I recall asking her all serious like if she was a ghost, because all the shots I was trying to take of her turned out all blurry. Jaayzus.

Anyways, after we got the crazy out of our systems, it was 3:30ish in the morning, so we decided to hit the hay. Dude - we drank for like 9 consecutive hours. Oy.

Saturday morning was painful. For me anyways. Wine hangovers hurt more than most - why is that?

After getting up and showered, we went for a nice walk and lunch at the Met downtown, and before we knew it it was time to get her to the airport for her flight home. It was over so fast, I couldn't believe it.

The good news is we were able to connect again after all this time, and will visit eachother more often from here on.

The craziest part of the visit was that out of seemingly nowhere, Mizzo calls me up and says she's in town, I had no plans, and the night before, she watched The Secret DVD.

Like whoa.

She didn't even know I was reading it, and she wanted to bring it to my place to watch.

What are the odds of that?? It must be that law of attraction thing. Similar frequencies and all. Crazy.

The rest of the weekend was pretty chill. Watched the Flames LOSE game 2 for the love of gawd, went for a bike ride, and had a nice dinner with Sandy last night.

Was goooooooooood.

My ass hurts today because I am not yet used to my bike seat again, and I haven't ridden in a long while. It's all good though - it goes right along with the muscle pain in my stomach from laughing too much on Friday night. This is what they must call the good kinda pain.

Hope you kids had a good weekend too. Happy Monday.

The Secret

Kay, so I picked up this book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (Beyond Words Publishing) last weekend, and it has been totally instrumental in helping me to see how my thoughts affect the outcome of my life.

The whole premise of the book is quite simply the secret to a happy life.
Which sounds pretty heavy and a little daunting at first - you think it will require you to do a lot of work on yourself and experience some kind of major upheaval to get where you want to be.
After all, if you have been relatively unhappy with your life, you know it took a lot of struggle, pain, and disappointment to get there.
Seems like it would logically be an uphill climb to get out of it.

The irony of it all though, is that it’s not!
It’s simple.
Who woulda thunk it.

The whole theory is based on the law of attraction, which is proven absolute.
It all comes down to how you think.
If you think things are bad and that you are never going to get what you want, that is exactly what you will get.
There is no other force at work besides your thought process.
No such thing as bad luck or the world conspiring against you - if you think that, the law of attraction states that you will experience those feelings continually.

The interesting thing about this is that it explains how powerful our thoughts as single beings really are.
Apparently, all our thoughts transmit a “frequency” of sorts out into the universe. And what we transmit, we receive right back. Like a radio or satellite signal.
The universe does not distinguish between what you want or don’t want, it just receives your thoughts whether good or bad, and sends it right on back to you.

So logically, all you must do is think of the things you want - say it out loud to the universe if you like - and it will come to you.

The only trick is that you really have to believe that you are going to get what you want. Almost to the point of faking yourself out to believe you already have it.
This comes down to dusting off the old faith button and giving it a good press.

The idea behind this is that when you fully believe you have something or are soon going to have it, your feelings follow suit.
You feel happy, fulfilled, and satisfied.
And those thought frequencies are broadcast out to the universe, the law of attraction kicks in, and you receive that which you want.

Pretty cool hey?

Now this complete change in thinking won’t happen overnight - after all, you’ve probably spent the majority of your life thinking another way completely, so it will take some time to adjust.
But the cool part is that you really catch yourself thinking negatively, and you are able to stop and turn it around right then in there.
Thought by thought, step by step.
Eventually in time, your whole thought process and view of life will be transformed for the better.

I know a lot of us are into instant gratification, and long term focus on changing your thinking may seem like a lot of work, but it’s not. It really comes down to one thought at a time.

A good analogy in the book related to headlights: “Think of a car driving through the night. The headlights only go a hundred or two hundred feet forward, and you can make it all the way from California to New York driving through the dark, because all you have to see is the next two hundred feet. And that’s how life tends to unfold before us. If we just trust that the next two hundred feet will unfold after that, your life will keep unfolding. And it will eventually get you to the destination of whatever it is you truly want, because you want it.”

This all seriously just makes so much sense.
We are not at the mercy of luck or some sort of god, or a set of circumstances laid out before we were born.
It comes down to us - we are in the driver’s seat from day one.

With that in mind, why not take the scenic route?
Stop and enjoy whenever you want, wherever you want, for as long as you want.

$40-a-day

Ever see that Rachel Ray show $40 a Day? There was a spoof done on it on Mad TV this past weekend - pretty funny.

Well we were the people that we wanted to know, & we are the places that we wanted to go

There is something gnawing at me, way down in the pit of my stomach. It’s burning, churning, and has been making me variably queasy.

I think it’s that inner voice we often try to silence and almost always doubt.
You know what I mean? You just don’t feel quite right, and that voice is trying to tell you to pay attention and make the right decisions to change things for the better.
Call it your conscience, your intuition, your instinct - whatever you will.

I am finding as time goes by, it is getting harder and harder to ignore that voice.

I have thought about it a lot these past few days, and have really questioned myself about a lot of things.
I’ve gotten a little down on myself and even questioned myself about things I know to be true.

My conclusion is that I am indeed an all around good person.
One who is generous and thoughtful, one who is empathetic and caring, one who is unique and has something to offer in this life.
So after coming to this conclusion, I began to wonder why/what is causing me to doubt these things.

Why do I feel sub-standard in life and love?
Why do I feel the need to apologize for things I have no reason to apologize for?
Why do I feel like the happiness of others depends on me sometimes?
Why do I feel like my thoughts and efforts are not good enough?
Why do I feel its okay to treat everyone else well, but not expect the same treatment in return?
Why do I feel under-appreciated?

Why. Why?

I know why - because I allow myself to be treated sub-standard at times, and I do not speak my mind for fear of causing an over reaction or commotion.
But guess what? The commotion doesn’t disappear by not saying no and standing one’s ground. It gets internalized. And it sits and it grows in the pit of your stomach until the burning and the churning start.
And there it is - your inner voice telling you to wake up and take a look around.
You can try to ignore it, but it will eventually just get louder and louder, and you will have no choice but to have a listen sooner or later.

What I think is important about these moments, however uncomfortable they may seem at the time, is that you learn to understand what is best for you.
Just YOU.
It’s totally unique - nobody else will have exactly the same experience.
There is knowledge to be acquired, and most importantly, there is truth. YOUR truth.

Next step is to take stock of your life with a clearer view of the reality of things, and decide what you can change to make your patch of grass a little greener.
Cuz face it kids - this life slips by a little faster each day. There’s no need to accept anything less than what you deserve from anything or anybody.

So you make some hard decisions or you don’t. Totally your choice.

If I can offer any words of advice though, don’t let fear prevent you from making the right choices. I’ve been down that particular road a few times, and it inevitably leads to a dead end.
It can also lead to lengthy stay at Hotel Regret. And they don’t have a pool.

To make this very long story short, I’m saying that there comes a time in all of our lives that we have to buck the eff up and take responsibility for our own happiness. Do what we can to enhance the good in our lives, sacrifice when it’s worth it, and move along when it’s not.

When something isn’t working for you and your inner voice is screaming itself hoarse, only you have the option to make the changes that are best for you.
I know it sounds a lot easier than it is, but I think you owe it to yourself to stand up and protect your worth.
Because you ARE worthy of the best, if you allow yourself to be. And I think it’s important to tell yourself that every now and again.

Happy Easter

Today is going to be a short day at work I figure. I don't plan on staying much past noon today as I want to get an early start on the long weekend.


Not a lot planned for Easter this year...going to sleep in tomorrow, cook a turkey dinner with Sandy on Saturday, and hopefully get out for a bike ride on Sunday if this crazy ass weather finally cooperates.

Happy Easter everyone!

Shiny Happy People

So I watched The Pursuit of Happyness yesterday.
Good movie.

Although the main story was that of a man struggling to survive with barely any money, a young son to look after, and the dream of a making a better career for himself to look after his son, there was one line in the film that really made me think.

The main character narrated a thought about a line in the declaration of independence:
Life, Liberty, and the PURSUIT of Happiness.

He said that he had always wondered why Thomas Jefferson thought to put the word PURSUIT in there. Like, how did he know it would always be a pursuit? Did this mean that we as humans could never fully be happy in this life? That we will always be pursuing the dream of happiness, rarely able to attain it, only chase after the idea of it?

Very interesting indeed.

This struck a strong chord with me, because I have been struggling with this for the last few months in my own life.
When I heard this in the movie, it was a total whoa moment.

I really wonder…

What exactly IS happiness? What do we base it on? What should we sacrifice for it? Is it even a tangible state of being? And if so, for how long?

Not trying to be a pessimist here, but I really do think that the moments of true happiness in life are few and far between. The majority of it seems like a struggle to reach some plain of palatable contentment.
And that’s only within ourselves, as singular beings.
Add other people to the mix - friends, family, spouse’s - it seems damn near impossible to attain a balanced state of happiness throughout.
Then there’s societal pressure to be the portrait of success, and that almost always boils down to money. A man made evil that we spend our entire lives trying to make, hoard, spend, and invest. Another pursuit all in itself.

So I’m thinking, perhaps this theory of happiness is just that for a lot of people - a theory, a dream.
An idea that keeps us going, keeps us working, keeps us sacrificing our own wants/needs.

Maybe yes, maybe no.

In many ways, I suppose it’s a good thing. I mean if we all woke up one day and realized that true happiness is a myth, I suppose we would all soon become a very depressed and counter productive society.
Mediocrity would become the new black.

The dream of ideal circumstances keeps us motivated to try harder and do better, and I guess that could never be a bad thing.

My thought, though, is that perhaps we should be content with what we have and who we are as we are, at some points in our lives.
Feeling the need to continue to pursue this allusive happiness we hear so much about can really take our focus off the here and now, which may be just fine as it is.

There will always be something we long for, something we imagine will complete us and fill in the gaps, which we are convinced will lead us all to the coveted elation of true happiness.
It keeps us moving. It keeps us determined. It keeps us focused on a prize.

What do you suppose would happen if you actually reached true happiness though? If you attained everything you had ever dreamed about, worked towards, and sacrificed for?
Do you believe it would be everything you had wished for?
What would your goals be after that point?

Would that be the end of the course of your natural life - because the pursuit was won, the prize obtained?

Interesting to think about.