Ode to the Shawarma

I'm SO craving Shawarma this morning, you have no idea.

There's this place called Mazaj on 7th Avenue downtown that has the best chicken shawarma EVAAAAR and I am going at lunch come hell or highwater.

In my efforts to try and convince a co-worker who's buried in work to join me, I wrote a little poem to try and wet her appetite. Complete with a picture for effect.
The email's subject was URGENT, and I sent it high priority of course:
--------------------------------------------------
From: Debbie L****
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2007 9:50 AM
To: ****** ******** ***
Subject: URGENT
Importance: High

Shawarma Shawarma
You’re so yum
Yummier even than Deanna’s gum

Shawarma Shawarma
You’re delish
You're my favorite take out dish

Shawarma Shawarma
You’re so neat
I love the taste of your garlic meat

Shawarma Shawarma
Get in my mouth
I'll chew you good so you can’t get out

Shawarma Shawarma
You’re grilled so well
The peppers inside you are hot as hell

Shawarma Shawarma
I love your garlic sauce
Anyone who doesn’t, I guess it’s their loss

Shawarma Shawarma
I love u so hard
I like to pay for you with my debit card

Shawarma Shawarma
From the Middle East
I'm totally amped for my afternoon feast

Shawarma Shawarma
I am so hungraay
Can’t wait to eat you cuz you so yumaay

~Fin~

She's still laughing. And she's decided to come now.

Saweeeet.

This guy is AWESOME

Sickest Thing I've Ever Heard

I came across news coverage on the story below last night on television, and I can honestly tell you, it was by far one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard:

Detective details attacks on microwaved baby
By Scott E. WilliamsThe Daily News
Published May 23, 2007

GALVESTON — A police detective Tuesday morning described a series of attacks on an infant that led to the child being placed in a microwave oven and burned.

Detective Holly Johnson testified in a bond-reduction hearing for Joshua Mauldin, 19, that Mauldin detailed for her everything leading up to the child being put in the oven.

Mauldin and his 2-month-old daughter were alone in a Seawall Boulevard hotel room shortly before 2 a.m. May 10.

“(Mauldin) became agitated,” Johnson said from the witness box in the 212th State District Court in Galveston.
“He picked her up from one bed and threw her onto another one.

He then hit her — punched her in the groin area.

“He placed her in the hotel-room safe and shut the door for approximately five seconds. He then took her and put her in the refrigerator and shut the door for about five seconds.”

After that, Johnson said, Mauldin took the girl out, put her in the microwave oven and turned it on.

Johnson testified that Mauldin had first admitted putting the child in the microwave to Child Protective Service workers May 14. Before that, his tale varied.

When asking the hotel clerks to place the 911 call that operators received at 1:48 a.m. May 10, Mauldin had told the clerks the child had suffered a severe sunburn.

His first account to police was that he did not know how the child was burned but, hours later, he told detective Cody Cazales that he accidentally spilled scalding water onto the child while making coffee.

Johnson testified that Mauldin described the entire course of events in an interview with her May 14.

Johnson’s testimony dominated a court hearing Tuesday morning on defense attorney Charles Kaufmann’s motion to reduce Mauldin’s bond.

During Mauldin’s initial appearance last week, 405th State District Court Judge Wayne Mallia had set his bond at $250,000. Kaufmann had asked Judge Susan Criss to reduce that amount to $100,000.

However, prosecutor Xochitl Vandiver argued that Mauldin was an Arkansas resident with “absolutely no ties whatsoever” to Galveston County, making him a flight risk.

“They just showed up here and, two hours later, this child is in the hospital,” Vandiver told the judge.

On his MySpace.com Web page, which has since been removed from public view, Mauldin said he was bringing his family to Galveston to accept a call to ministry.

Kaufmann said Mauldin’s wife had rented an apartment in Galveston, but Vandiver said the Mauldins already had been evicted.

In another motion, Kaufmann asked the court to appoint a psychiatrist to evaluate Mauldin to determine whether he was competent to stand trial.

In Tuesday’s hearing, Criss asked Kaufmann what assurances she could have that Mauldin would know when to show up for court after bonding out if his competence were an issue.

Kaufmann responded that leaving him in jail until after the evaluation would likely be the best course.

Criss rejected the bond reduction and appointed Dr. Victor Scarano to examine Mauldin.

Scarano is a forensic psychiatrist who has testified for prosecutors and defense attorneys in a career that has spanned decades.

Mauldin faces a charge of injury to a child causing serious bodily harm, which carries a possible prison term of five to 99 years, as well as a fine of up to $10,000.
Copyright © 2007 The Galveston County Daily News

Gah!!
What. In. The. Fuck. How could someone EVER do anything so horrific? Turns my stomach.

This poor child - she was released from hospital into foster care this Tuesday, after recieving 3rd degree burns to her head, face, and left hand.
According to doctors reports, she lost part of her left ear and her hand was so burned that it was split open when EMT arrived at the hotel.
Her hair is burned off, and she has a large blister on her face. They have performed 2 skin grafts on her since she was admittted to hospital.

The bitch ass mother wants to get custody back of her child so that they can "all be a family again". You guessed it, this includes the father of the child. She sees no wrong in what he did and is blaming it on the effing devil.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Heaven help this child if she is placed back in the custody of anybody in the mother's family.

I hope the father gets the highest sentence possible and then gets what's coming to him in prison. I'm sure that there would be a few inmates more than willing to even the score in prison with someone who committed such a crime.
I also hope the mother is convicted as an accessory.

What in the hell is WRONG with people these days?? This is just unfathomable.

Sleighbells Ring, Are You Listening?

BLECH. Look what we woke up to in Calgary this morning folks:

There are trees and powerlines down all over the freakin city.

Um, hello? Is it not technically SUMMER now? Where's global warming when you really need it?

Jaaayzus.

I'm Back Bitchez Part 2

There's a place in Victoria's inner harbour called Fisherman's wharf, where seafood is sold freshly caught from individual vendors. We tried a meal of fish n'chips (halibut) which was delish, and I of course could not leave without procuring some crab. Sweet christ, I love crab. Here's $70 dollars worth of freshly caught steamed dungenous:

Drooool. A nice lady at Barb's fish store on the water was good enough to steam these up for us first thing in the morning and wrap them in brown paper for transport back to the hotel. A few lemons and a half pound of butter later that night and we horked until we could not eat another bite. It was soooo good. Totally fresh.

She was also nice enough to throw on some honkus steamed prawns from the morning catch for us too:

Not the most attractive creatures I've seen, but hot dayum they were yumaaay.

There are a couple of very plump seals who have taken up residence at the wharf, and by the looks of it, they are very well fed. Check out chubs:

What a face!

For 5 dollars, you can purchse a bowl of smelt fish to hand feed him and his friends. By the look of it, this happens quite often. We fed them a couple of times while hanging out down there - it was pretty neat. You have to watch for large and in charge seagulls though - they swoop right in and steal the fish from your hand. I had one land right on my shoulder flapping it's humungoid wings in my face and then stelaing the fish in my hand in a flash. I screamed. Those things remind me of flying rodents - blech.

During another day excursion, we headed to a place called Butterfly Gardens. We didn't really know what to expect of the place, but it turned out to be really cool. It was like an indoor rainfroest with hundreds of different kinds of butterflies flying about freely. The guide told us that if one lands on you, it's supposed to be good luck. Lucky for us, one landed on each of us.

On Sandy's arm:

In my hair:

Pics of some of the other butterflies inside:

Look at this one! Apparently these ones stay in a cocoon for up to 5 years, and die 3-5 days after emerging. Isn't that strange? Like why.
It hatched the morning of our visit and was drying his wings in the sun. He was about the size of a large bird, pretty incredible:

Here are some shots of the rainforest vibeage inside:

The Royal BC Museum had a Titanic exhibit going on during our visit too! I'm pretty much a freak for all things Titanic, so this was definitley up my alley.

Now this was really something to see. They had over 220 recovered artifacts from the wreck on display, including unopened wine bottles, White Star Line china, people's luggage, wallets, letters, grooming items, eye glasses, medicine bottles, money, lumps of coal, tools from the boiler room, etc. They also had one of the bronze cherubs from the famous skylight/clock area in First class on display. So cool.

They even had a REAL iceberg on display, positioned in front of a black starlight wall. You can touch it and everything!

The museum staff were dressed in replica lifejackets from the ship and they also had a Captain Smith impersonator dressed in full uniform talking to the visitors. He handed out replica Titanic boarding passes to everyone that told you which passenger you were from the original passenger list, which class you were in, how old you were, who you were married to, etc. At the end of the exhibit, there is a wall of memorial listing the fate of each passenger on the ship which you check to see whether you lived or died. I survived, but my husband did not. Sandy's character did not survive.

There were no cameras allowed inside to preserve the items from too much light exposure, so unfortuantley all I could get were the pics from outside the exhibit. Too bad. It was totally effen cool.

Jeff, if you're interested, this exhibit is running until the middle of October 2007.
Definitely something worth checking out if you're into it - you'd really love it. There is also an IMAX film you see before entering the exhibit - it wasn't as cool as that 3-D one we saw a few years back, but it's pretty sweet nonetheless.

And finally, some random shots taken while out and about:

I'm Back Bitchez Part 1

Howdy strangers!
I'm back from Victoria where the weather was GO-GEOUS all week - what's with this snow shit in Calgary today?? Isn't it supoposed to be semi-summer by now?

Anyays, I have tons of pics to post from the trip, best get to it.

Me and Sandillion:

The view from our hotel room at sunset:

Inner Victoria harbour, mid-day (quite a busy place):

Disgustingly large cruise ships that pulled in to port. The pics do not do the enormity of these vessels justice, I swear. They are like floating cities! Couldn't believe the effen size of these things, for reals:

Size ratio, me and Sandy vs. one of the cruise ships:

Quite a testament to the human obsession with excess, yes?

We jumped on a touring boat and went whale watching on the third day of our stay! That was the highlight of the trip for me I think. I'd never been out on the open ocean before, and I'd certainly never seen whales up close before.

On the boat, heading out to the deep:

It was mighty chilly doing 55 kph on the open sea.

About an hour out, we came upon a pod of whales:

How totally sweet is that right? Incredible creatures to see up close.

Later that day, Sandy and I decided to go exploring on the beach. Look, I got crabs. LULZ.

A seal stopped by to say hello to us:

And then out of nowhere, a huge bald eagle swooped down and landed on a rock not 20 feet away from us. Sandy was actually able to walk about 10 feet away from it and snap these pics:

Check out the talons as he flew away - beautiful.

We also went to the Undersea Gardens, which is an undersea museum of sorts, where you can look at life in the ocean just outside the windows (the pics are sorta blurry beacuse you can't really use a flash in there):

We went for a walk one afternoon along the boarwalk in the inner harbour, and came across a totally effen amazing free hand spray paint artist pianting pics by the ocean. He didn't use airbrush tools or nozzles or anything, just completeley free handed these awesome landscape pictures. It was something to see for sure. Sandy bought me one of his pieces, a futuristic pyramid/multiple black moon landscape which is in the frame shop as we speak. Woot!

Part 2 follow - these pic posts take bloody forever, and I do want to try and savour the last day of vacation a little bit!