David Reimer

I watched a program on TLC last night that absolutely broke my heart. It was called Born a Boy, Brought Up a Girl, and it was nothing short of tragic.

In 1966, a woman gave birth to twin boys in Winnipeg. During circumcision of the boys at about 8 months old, a terrible medical mistake was made, and David’s entire penis was badly burned during the cauterizing. Shortly thereafter, it fell off (cringe!).
The boy’s testicles remained intact, but the penis was gone.

(The twins as babies)

Faced with such a situation, David’s parents looked for medical advice about what to do next. They were directed to John Money, a Baltimore doctor “specializing” in helping people of ambiguous gender. At the time, Dr. Money was revered in the medical and scientific fields for his work on nature vs. nurture dynamics in the human child.
His theory was that no matter what gender you were born, if you are raised as a boy or girl from a young age, you will identify as that gender.

Dr. Money persuaded David’s parents to transform their son into a daughter, based on the extent of damage to his genitals. He recommended surgery and hormone treatment to turn young Brian (his given birth name) into a girl. His parents agreed, and treatment commenced soon thereafter.
Brian was forced to become “Brenda”.
His parents were advised never to tell the children the truth about Brian’s gender or accident.

This doctor did not really have the family’s well-being at heart, but instead was driven by the challenge of proving his theory - that gender identity does not take place in the womb.

Over the course of the twins’ childhood, they were subjected to many experiments and humiliating question sessions by Dr. Money. The parents were never involved in these sessions, and later in life, both boys claimed that the doctor made them take their clothes off to be photographed in sexual positions during their visits.

Fast forward to 13 years old, and “Brenda” is having social problems at school. She has no friends, and she looks alarmingly masculine despite her clothes and hair.
The kids at school refuse to let her use either the male or female washrooms, and she is often forced to relieve herself in the alley behind the school. She has no interest in boys; she is depressed and feels alienated.

("Brenda" at 12)

It was around this time that Brenda began refusing to attend her sessions with Dr. Money, going so far as threatening suicide if made to attend.
Her parents were scared that she may well take her own life, and made the decision to tell her and her brother the truth.

Brenda was taken for ice cream and told by her father. Her brother was sat down and told the news by their mother at the same time.
Brenda was obviously shocked by the news, but happy to finally have an answer about her differences with other girls her age. Her father asked her what gender she wanted to live her life as, and she immediately said that she wanted to be a boy.
Her twin brother reacted in anger, and began a slow decline into schizophrenia in the years to follow.

Brenda had reconstructive surgery on her genitalia, and became David Reimer. By all accounts his life went well, he was handsome, happy, and popular in his new surroundings (he changed schools). He even went on to get married after high school.
The only thing missing in his life was his twins brother’s presence. They became estranged in the years after the truth came out.

(David at 36)

David was angry about what Dr. Money had done to him and his family. He was also very angry that the experiment they were guinea pigs for was published as a success! He felt he should go public with his story, to expose the fraudulent claims in the infamous John/Joan case still going undisputed in medical journals.

After some convincing, David enlisted the help of his twin brother to participate in a documentary about their experience. Shortly after the documentary was complete, David’s twin brother was found dead in his home - the result of a drug overdose/suicide.

David was never the same.

In the two years following his brother’s death, David became depressed.
This was amplified by a bad financial investment, loss of his job, and separation from his wife. David moved back in with his parents to try and get back on his feet, but unfortunately, his inner turmoil was a hell he could not conquer.

In 2004, David went for a walk in his parents wheat field, inserted a shotgun into his mouth, and pulled the trigger. He was 38 years old.

I cannot even tell you how sad I was to see the end of this show - well ALL of it was horrible, but wow.
Seeing his parents looking down on both their sons’ graves was heartbreaking.

Not surprisingly, Dr. Money refused to partake in the TLC documentary about this case.