Pieces Of Me
Today is the last day of August 2006.It’s cold and rainy outside, and you can feel autumn knocking at the door. The sky seems…different. The air is suddenly a little more brisk, and a little less friendly.
Makes me think of a great John Mayer lyric from Something’s Missing:
When autumn comes,
It doesn’t ask.
It juts walks in, where it left you last.
You never know
When it starts
Until there’s fog inside the glass around your summer heart.
I usually do a lot of self reflection in the fall, mainly precipitated by events that I experienced in the summer. This year, it feels a little different.
I feel a little different.
I am not reflecting on the summer much this time, mainly because it was quite a bad one for me personally, and I am not left with warm, fuzzy Coppertone lotion scented memories of lazy days and fun filled nights.
This time around, it seems the summer was a means to an end for me. To what extent I am still not sure.
I think it became a turning point of the entire year for me. It seems I have done a lot of changing and growing so far this year, and in turn my values and perspectives are very different from what they were a year ago.
The puzzle pieces that have historically fit for me in the past now seem bent, weathered, and torn. Like they were forced into the slots where they were originally placed.
What does that mean?
Well, I think my puzzle has evolved into something much different. It almost seems that it is a brand new puzzle altogether! And the pieces are not yet in place, but are strewn about the table, waiting to be placed in their respective slots and grooves.
Although I am somewhat unsure and a little frightened of the challenges that are no doubt ahead of me, I am also excited to figure out day by day, which piece fits where.
This is uncharted territory for me, as I have historically hung onto things and habits that were familiar – whether good or bad.
But that obviously doesn’t work for me anymore. I wonder now if it ever really did?
Did I force those pieces into my puzzle? Is that why it’s become so warped and torn?
I wonder...
posted by Comfortable Chaos at
12:50 PM
2 Comments:
Well I say it's because you have a huge ego that all of a sudden has clouded your mind and given you a very narrow-minded view of the world around you. ;)
I think our puzzles are alwasy changing, even at times when we think it's not. If the 18 year old me could meet the 32 year old me, he'd be surprised. He may also be a bit dissapointed, and probably estatic at the same time. I'm sure if the 60 year old me could meet the 32 year old me, the visit would be the same. You lead a good life CC, you see the clouds and avoid the storm. You walk towards the sunshine, as you should. As we all should. Embrace the changes and the coming year, for even the earth itself changes it's puzzle pieces everyday. And if we could see it more clearly, the universe probably does too!
By
Anonymous, at 1:31 PM
mwah dahaaalink.
I like what you said about the 18 yr. old you vs. the 32 yr. old you.
Great way to look at it.
I'm sure the 29 yr. old me would want to bitch slap the 18 yr. old me, but hindsight is 20/20.
And I don't think the 29 yr. old me would find the 1 dimensional puzzle that the 18 yr. old me was constructing very interesting or challenging.
I want a Puzz 3-D at this ripe old age! It's challenging and deep...literally - it has 3 sided sponge pieces.
Hey speaking of, I saw a Titanic Puzz 3-D at a hobby shop some time ago...was tres cool.
By
Comfortable Chaos, at 1:59 PM
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